Jack and Squat

I'm always in need of a good laugh to help me kick start my Monday morning. Thought you might like one too...

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Oh Mexico!

A wise man once said…

Way down here you need a reason to move.
Feel a fool running your stateside games.
Lose your load, leave your mind behind, baby James.
Oh, Mexico! It sounds so sweet with the sun sinking low.
Moon so bright like to light up the night.
Make everything all right.

James Taylor took the words right out of my mouth. Sometimes a trip to Mexico really does make everything all right! Last weekend it did just that. We headed down south to Rocky Point with our good friends the Butlers, for some fun in the sun. We had an amazing time. Three full days of sun, sand, surf, and tacos.

We slept in, ate great food, talked, laughed, and spent all day at the beach or in the pool. It was so relaxing, and just what the doctor ordered. Here are a few pics from our weekend getaway. Como se dice…I want to go back ASAP?!?

Mona Lisa

Tomorrow is the big day. I am giddy with anticipation. Dan Brown’s new novel, The Lost Symbol, is finally being released. I’ve been waiting with bated breath for the past six years, anticipating the next adventure of Mr. Robert Langdon. Oh how I’ve missed you Robert.

My only sadness is that I can’t find a midnight release party. Don’t even get me started that Twilight and Harry Potter lovers get a thousand midnight release parties across the country and I can’t even find one midnight release for Dan Brown. If there was a release party I may or may not have totally gone to it. And I may or may not have dressed up as Mona Lisa. Oh well, I’ll just have to wait till tomorrow...and save my Mona Lisa costume for another day.

You have been sorely missed Mr. Brown. I can’t wait to see you again!

Monkey See, Monkey Do

There is a lot of monkey business going on around Phoenix. There are tons of photo radar cameras on the freeways here in the valley. Many people are outraged about the cameras, but one “primate” has started to take things into his own monkey hands.

I present to you…the Monkey-Masked Speedster!

This is just one of the photo radar shots of him in action. Apparently, this idiot has acquired over 35 speeding tickets wearing this ridiculous mask while driving on the Valley’s freeways. This guy must honestly have the brains of a monkey. Thanks for putting all of us at risk as you don your monkey mask while driving at an incredibly fast speed!

I would like Mr. Monkey to take the following quiz:

Which is more dangerous and stupid?
a. Talking on your cell phone while driving
b. Eating a banana while driving
c. Speeding
d. Wearing a monkey mask while speeding

Ding, ding, ding! If you answered D, you are correct! Do us all a favor ape-man—ditch the monkey mask and stop speeding…and don’t forget to keep your hands at ten and two.

Allergies and Bora Bora

I always get terrible allergies this time of year. And I mean TERRIBLE! I am dying here people. Every year, without fail, I want to die during August, September, and October because my allergies are so awful. I know what you are saying, in fact; I think we’ve had this conversation before, “Paige, you live in the desert. There are no trees or green things where you live. How could you have allergies?”

I know. It doesn’t seem possible, but let me share a few facts with you:

Fact: Phoenix, AZ is in the desert.

Fact: I’ve never had allergies until I moved to Phoenix, AZ.

Fact: My allergies are so bad right now I want to get hooked up to a Benadryl IV and sleep until November.

Conclusion: I am allergic to the desert.

Solution: Move somewhere that is the opposite of the desert.

I’ll pick here:


Are you with me?

I'm a Model...You Know What I Mean

The other day I was flipping though the channels and I came across some silly model reality show. I must have been fate, because for the five seconds I was on that channel this model said the funniest thing ever. I present to you the quote of the week:

“I’m a very well-read model. I’ve read all seven Harry Potter books.”

Now that is a quotable quote! I was dying laughing. Yeah, and as soon as you finish the Twilight series you will be a literary genius. Someone get this girl a library card!

Chocolate + Mint = Match Made In Heaven

I’ve always thought that chocolate and mint make a perfect pair. They probably saw each other across the room one day and couldn’t keep their eyes off of each other. They've been attracted to each other ever since! I guess it’s kind of like Newton’s theory of universal gravitation…sometimes two objects are just attracted to one another. They just can’t help it.

So naturally when I found a fun new recipe for mint chocolate chip cookies on this blog called Baked Perfection, I had to try it. And now that I’ve tried it and LOVED it, I just had to share it. It really is a match made in heaven.

Polka Dot Cookies

recipe from Guittard

2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

1/2 cup butter

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/8 tsp salt

3 large eggs

1/2 cup sugar

2 tsp vanilla extract

2 cups Guittard Green Mint Chips (can also be substituted with Andes mints)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In the microwave, heat semisweet chips and butter in a small bowl on medium power (50%) for 2-3 minutes, stirring well after each minute until smooth. Set aside to cool.

In small bowl combine flour, baking soda and salt; set aside. In large bowl, beat eggs, sugar, and vanilla until light. Blend in melted chocolate then dry ingredients. Stir in green mint chips and chill for 10-15 minutes or until stiff. Drop by well-rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake 8-10 minutes; cookies will be soft in the centers but will firm up as they cool. Yields approximately 4 dozen cookies.

P.S. You can find Guittard Green Mint Chips at Cost Plus World Market.

Happy Rain Clouds

It's official: July was the hottest month EVER in Phoenix. Well, maybe not ever, but it was the hottest month since weather record-keeping started in 1880, so that's pretty much ever. The AVERAGE high for the month of July was 109.5 degree. That’s the average, people! Holy wah!

Every year about this time I ask myself the following question:

Why do you live on the surface of the sun?

It’s so hot. And I forget every year. It must be kind of like child birth—after it's over, you forget how bad it actually is. During the winters I find myself frolicking in and bragging about the perfect weather and I always say things like, “The summers aren’t so bad.” or “I don’t mind the heat.” Well, it IS that bad and I DO mind the heat. I’m melting down here!

To make matters worse, the news stations have been a bit insensitive. A few weeks ago I was watching the news and they were showing the seven day forecast. The week had triple digit temperatures and red flames all across the screen. Really? There were no smiling sun icons or happy little rain clouds in our future. Nope, instead the news team selected flames to illustrate the forecast. Thanks a lot channel 12. Why don’t you just write “Hotter Than Hell” in big bold red letters across the screen and rub it in just a little bit more?

So, if anyone would like to kidnap me from this desert and whisk me away to a cooler climate, be my guest. And if anyone has any happy (or angry) little rain clouds, please send them my way.